he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
