I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
