but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Randomize
