did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
