He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
