So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
