yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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