I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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