So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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