Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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