told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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