I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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