I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize