He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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