break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
