Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
