We're like a lot better than the average bears
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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