your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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