her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
