so that wasnt chicken after all
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
