This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I want a musical about memes.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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