I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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