you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
