She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
