with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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