So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
