normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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