Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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