You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
