who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
