I have demons in me.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
