it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
