i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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