I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
