I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
A bitchslap is in order.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
