I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
They have beer where we have blood.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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