Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
