from now on my penis is your penis
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
