I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
