I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize