My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
