I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
