So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
