Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Vodka?
Forever.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
