Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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