I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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