I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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