Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
