I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
