Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours

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(985): View more from Louisiana

Everytime we come here you have an ex here.

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(315): View more from New York

im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor

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(519): View more from Ontario

how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down

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(203): View more from Connecticut

You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

Did it finish?

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(921): View more from

Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.

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(785): View more from Kansas

She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.

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