dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Randomize
